betrayal

it was 1981, and i was in the 7th grade at ormond beach jr. high. i was desperately in love with a guy named mike, and our relationship was being threatened by his ex-girlfriend. seeking counsel from my math class buddies, i decided the only thing i could do to get rid of this threat was to beat the girl up. so, rage took over my little twelve-year-old body, and as the bell rang, the crowd following close behind me encouraging me each step of the way, i approached her. before i knew it she was on the ground, and i was wiping blood from my fist. what just happened? did i actually beat that girl up? i knew mike would love me for this. i kicked a girl’s butt for him.

as mike approached the spot we met at each day between bells, i tried to play it cool. “i heard about what happened.” he said. i just replied, “oh, yeah. it was nothing.” that was it…nothing else was said about my brawl between us.

i thought the threat was gone. i had removed the ex-girlfriend. little did i know, there was another threat to our relationship, and she was closer than i ever imagined.

as i boarded the bus to school a couple of days following the fight, i waved to my best friend marjorie. we looked alike: same hair color and style, same big brown eyes, she was taller, i was freckle-faced. marjorie’s boyfriend was my boyfriend’s best friend…it was perfect. we had so much fun together. i spent most weekends at her house.

marjorie talked on the phone to everyone. she had no qualms about calling guys, so i wasn’t suprised that she would call mike sometimes. she said they talked about me. well, i didn’t think much of it at first. when the calls were becoming more frequent, and mike had less to say to me (he just wanted to watch tv while i sat on the other end.), i sensed something happening. i was losing mike, and not just to anyone, but to my best friend.

life is full of hurt and betrayal. i quickly learned at a young age that boyfriends come and go. but the betrayal of a close friend hurts…and it hurts bad.

betrayal happens, and there’s little you can do to prepare yourself for it. you don’t want to live life guarded and suspicious of everyone. so, how will you react when you’re betrayed? the first time, you will probably freak out. the second time, you will most likely blame the offender. the third time, you may begin to think there’s something wrong with you. the fourth time, you may begin to place walls around yourself to protect you from further betrayal. the fifth time, you will realize the walls aren’t working. then, finally, you have to realize…it has nothing to do with you…it’s the way of people. there are many self-centered people out there who will betray anyone around them for the feeling of power over someone else.

the power of betrayal is a dark one indeed. how will it effect you?

don’t give betrayal power over you. when you’re hurt, give it to god. don’t let it fester into bitterness or revenge. they will only hurt you…they will only empower the hurt of betrayal more.

personality

don’t you just love people with intense personality? i do, although they can be annoying at times. i also love those still, quiet souls who seem to just encourage you by being in the room. i am truly amazed at the gammet of personalities we come in contact with daily. god definitely gave us individuality.

have you ever hated your personality? i have. i suppose there’s this perfect personality persona out there that we all measure ourselves up against…the problem with that is it changes all the time. one day, we want to be quiet and humble. the next, we want to be strong out outspoken…fierce. that perfect personality persona is nothing but a farce.

god gave you a personality. find strength in knowing that god will use you and your personlity. now, i’m not saying that personality flaws are something you should be proud of…they are your “thorn in the flesh” which you must deal with. however, we all have them…and god wants to use them to keep us humble.

today, i want to encourage you to thank god for your personality. also, ask him to show you how your personality can influence and encourage others. it’s a gift from god. you are god’s creation!

he never lets go

one of the most amazing things to me is god’s patience. he loves us even when we’re hostile toward him. he waits for us when we’re too busy to notice he’s there. he is our help when we either don’t know how to ask for it or we demand he give it to us…and give it to us NOW. he is the supplier of our needs even when we’re ungrateful. he is the lover of our souls even when we chase after other loves. he is our righteousness even when we fail him. he is amazingly patient.

i am so grateful that my god never lets go of me!

what do you really want?

life is full of opinions, and everyone has one. how important are others’ opinions to you? because, believe me, everyone you come into contact with does have an opinion of you…and they are most likely happy to share that opinion with others and maybe even with you.

so, my question today is this: how do others’ opinions affect you? are you crippled with fear over what they may think? or maybe you could care less what anyone thinks! how do you react to the scrutiny of others? do you just wish others would keep their opinions to themselves? do you worry about their opinion? do you even listen to their opinion? should you take it to heart and prayerfully consider it?

well, in my teen years I subscribed to the belief that I didn’t care about anyone’s opinion. of course, this was a lie. i truly thought opinion didn’t matter, but it did. i wanted to be noticed…i wanted to be loved and accepted. opinion mattered a lot!

now, opinion is definitely always present, but it doesn’t matter so much. i have to say it is important though to consider the opinions of others. some opinions are stupid and totally off-base, but some are true. so, i take  them to god in prayer, and he sets me straight if need be. but, life can’t be lived upon the opinions of others.

if you listen to people too much, you won’t hear the still small voice of god. his opinion is truly the only one that counts.

what do you really want in life anyway? do you want to live according to god’s perfect will? or, do you want to live a life bent according to opinion…side-tracked by the feelings and thoughts of others?

so, when opinions are nagging at you, take them to god! just don’t let them veer you off the path of destiny.

the end of a year…2008

i can’t believe it…another year. every new year’s eve, i get so excited to think of what the next year holds. i’m glad to say “so long, 2008!” i can’t wait for 2009! the only thing i don’t look forward to is the fact that i turn 40 this year!!!

so, why is a new year so exciting? it’s like a new opportunity…a new year to become more of the person you dream of becoming. how will you grow this year? how will you improve? what will become of you in 2009?

if you don’t have a plan, you won’t increase…you will decrease. what’s your strategy? i know i’m praying about that big time right now!

so long 2008…here comes 2009!

a new year of vision

today, as i turn my thoughts toward the new year, one thing rings perpetually in my spirit. that one thing God is speaking so sweetly to my heart is jinny, keep your vision clear and your focus determined. so, i’m seriously listening to him.

where does vision come from? duh! it comes from spending time with god. that’s the difference between people living a life of purpose and those who live life haphazardly like knowing god’s will is a shot in the dark. a person of vision is a person who spends time with the vision giver.

how do we stay focused? we stay focused by keeping the vision before us. the bible says in habakkuk 2:2, ”write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.” write it down, remember it, keep it in front of you so you don’t forget.

so, in 2009, i plan to be more focused, more determined, and to keep the vision god’s given me close to my heart!

spoiled

each year at christmas, i tend to go a little overboard on the present buying…especially where my kids are concerned. this year, i’m trying so hard to just buy the things they want and i know they’ll enjoy. many christmases, the kids don’t even open toys and games they’ve received until several weeks after christmas is over. there’s that fine line between spoiling and having a blessed christmas. i truly want for my children to realize how blessed they are and never take it for granted.

in my daily devotions, i’ve been studying the book of acts. each time i read the book of acts, i realize a striking difference between the first church and the church of today–we are spoiled.

the first christians had to face so much opposition from family and government. they were often beaten, tortured, arrested, disowned by their families, and generally treated as outcasts. they took care of one another. the bible even says they shared everything they owned with one another, and that none of them were in need.

what’s my point? am i saying we should sell everything and buy a communal ranch? no…definitely not! i love my privacy and quiet family time a little too much for that sort of thing.

here’s my point…we need to realize how blessed we are. we need to keep ourselves from being spoiled and useless, and take what god’s given us and use it to glorify him. the world looks at us and sees how blessed we are. what are you doing with all god’s given you? do you take god’s blessings for granted?

there’s nothing worse in a family than a spoiled kid who doesn’t contribute in any way! i won’t stand for that in my home. i also won’t treat god in that manner. i choose to live my life as he chooses. i will give of everything i possess…my time, my talents, my money, my dreams, my vulnerability…my everything. it may not be much, but it’s all i have to give back to him.

so, be encouraged in all you do for the kingdom…even the least of it is a gift to god. take time to thank god for all he’s given you. you are blessed!

managing christmas stress

ahh…christmas time…running from party to party, time with old friends and family, shopping, wrapping gifts till 2:00 am, squeezing in holiday family-memory time, church and school musicals, christmas photos, christmas cards (mine still aren’t done), giving to charitites, playing santa for those in need, reading to the children at school, empty bank accounts, sleepless nights. does this sound familiar?

i’ve always loved christmas! why does it have to be so stressful? i really have to admit that i haven’t been doing a very good job at managing stress this christmas. but, today, i choose to tackle this thing and really enjoy christmas.

what’s the best way to deal with the stress? take care of the small things…the things you can control. like eating right in between all that fattening party food. it may not make much of difference on your waistline, but mentally you know you’re taking care of yourself. take time to laugh with your family; you won’t regret it. sit–if even for only 5 minutes–and read god’s word. wear comfortable shoes while shopping (this seriously helps). take a drive to look at christmas lights…it’s really fun and FREE. don’t feel bad if you can’t buy a gift for everyone…it just isn’t possible. as a matter of fact, we have recently quit buying gifts for most of our family. our gift to each other is sanity during christmastime…less gifts to buy. we only buy for the children. my husband and i are actually so busy up to christmas that we buy each other gifts after christmas…we always said we wouldn’t do this, but it’s such a relief, and we both love it.

what about the stress over things we can’t change…the loss of a loved one…financial woes…? that’s when you have to pray! prayer really does change things. ask god for the peace to enjoy christmas…even if you’re going through the fight of your life. when you feel your chest tighten because of the pressure, pray in the holy spirit. when your head feels like it’s gonna split open because of the stress, worship god. seriously! take time to change your perspective. most of our stress comes from looking at things in the wrong way. realize, god is with you. he will be faithful to you. he won’t leave you or forsake you. he has great things in store for you! that’s a promise!!!

christmas stress management: look to jesus…the reason for the season. never forget…jesus is all that matters!

betrayal

have you ever been betrayed? do you know what it feels like to be hurt by the hand of someone you thought loved you?  maybe you’re walking around with a knife in your back right now! betrayal is a very real and awful thing.

a couple of weeks ago, god began to speak to me about praying against betrayal. in addition to praying about it, i began to take a look at my heart to see if there would ever be the possibility that i could become a betrayer. i’m not the kind of person who would intentionally try to hurt someone…even if they’ve hurt me…i try very hard to be liked by all. but, there is a thing inside us all that rises up and causes all sorts of evil…EGO.

ego is self-importance or conceit and it dwells within us all. it surfaces in attitudes of insecurity, jealousy, and pride. some of us are so egotistical and don’t even realize it. as christians, though, we are taught in the Bible to nail our egos to the cross. jesus lived a life of example of putting others’ needs before his own, and he commanded us to do the same.

so, today i will encourage you to be betrayal proof! oh, there’s no promise you won’t be betrayed by another, but you can stand up to your ego and determine to never be a betrayer yourself. don’t live for ego sake!

how do you know you have an ego problem? if you catch your anger rising each time you feel you’re being attacked…you have ego issues. if you can’t take criticism…ego issues. if you’re constantly belittling others…ego issues. if you analyze spiritual leaders looking for faults…serious ego issues (because you will find them…they are only human). if you love gossip…you got issues.

never be proud of being egotistical. punch your attitudes in the nose if you must. because if you let your ego take charge…you could end up like the most egotistical one of all…SATAN!

female pettiness

yesterday, i read a scripture that baffles me every time. it’s one of those verses you read over and over again trying to figure out if it says what you think it says. this is the one scripture in the bible that i tell god i disagree with…then i have to just turn my confusion over to him. here it is:

“while I was still searching but not finding– I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all.” –Ecclesiastes 7:28

so, why is it impossible to find an upright woman? maybe it’s our pettiness…our jealousy…the ways of a woman.

well, if you’re female, and this subject is upsetting you…let’s just say, nothing is impossible for god. as god works in us, we are made upright. maybe king solomon couldn’t find an upright woman, but god can surely work upon a willing heart. so, it’s not impossible!

however, female pettiness is a serious subject. we’ve all been hurt by a mean-spirited female a time or two in our lives. it’s easy to tear apart another woman in the company of close friends and feel good about it, too. and don’t even get me started on jealousy…we will find at least one fault in another woman. we can search out the tiniest of faults and make them into something big and horrific if need be. the ways of a woman.

today, i want to encourage you to prove this scripture wrong–yes, i did say that! let’s be upright women, not petty!!!

i’m praying that we won’t fall into these temptations of meanness, jealousy, and gossip. that’s not what we were created for. lord, make us compassionate and loving towards one another. may we be like-minded and of one accord.